What’s Meant for You Will Never Miss You.
ما اصابك لم يكن ليخطئك، و ما أخطأك لم يكن ليصيبك
For as long as I could remember time has been an ever-present metaphor in my life. It has both broken my heart and I’d imagined, unknowingly, saved my life on occasion. Time is a simple concept that has been reiterated throughout the ages, nonetheless, grossly underpriced in its value. It is truly the only thing in this world that cannot be bought. If time was for sale, I can only imagine the future wars fought and the relentless violence that would ensue. And to think it was predetermined far before we arrived and set in stone long after we’ve left…
And if I’m being completely honest here, I’ve struggled with it. I’ve blamed ‘bad timing’ on missed opportunities, mini failures, and doomed relationships…Although, in hindsight, I should’ve been asking myself if I really wanted to be involved with a guy who had a secret polyamory problem accompanied by a collegiate-level drug addiction - quite the cocktail.
Anyway, over the years I’ve consistently asked myself why some people were afforded more time with the ones they love while the rest of us got time cut short. Like, what’s the business model here? Did I miss the all-access membership fee? Or is there a trade-off that I’m still waiting on? The truth is I have no fucking clue. And I’m not going to pretend to conjure one up for you today. But what I will say is that recently I had a shift in perspective….
Last month I stumbled upon an old Arabian Proverb that reads, ما أصابك لم يكن ليخطئك، وما أخطأك لم يكن ليصيبك “What is meant for you will never miss you and what’s missed you was never meant for you.” Now as much as I’d love to stand in the middle of Columbia Parkway, arms wide open, and let good opportunities, emotionally stable men with 401Ks and loads of cash hit me in the face (while ALL vehicles pass me by because they weren’t meant for me)... I’m not entirely sure that’s what the proverb is trying to teach.
You see stagnation and desire mix like oil and water. We can’t wait around for our ideal life to break down the door and gently place everything we’ve ever wanted into our hands. That’s why there is a knowing inside of all of us. A small voice that reiterates our desires and offers up a choice. A choice to act upon that calling or stifle it. Your intuition is a reminder that you have the capacity to live the life you’ve always wanted. It’s just a matter of your desire superseding the pain it takes to get there.
On the contrary, you can’t beat yourself up for exhausting all options while trying to make something work that was never yours, to begin with. Sometimes things simply are not meant for you no matter how much you wish they were. Think back on that relationship that didn’t work out or the job you so desperately wanted but never received - they missed you to protect you.
What I am learning is that life is a balance. And although time is predetermined, circumstantially it can sway in our favor given our persistence and belief in ourselves.
I used to be anxiety-ridden that I was behind in life. And some days that feeling still creeps in. My old friend, anxiety, is quite inevitable I've found…that little fucker. But 25 is a weird age. I’ve somehow found myself between binge drinking and botox (none of which are high on my list at the moment). Nonetheless, at any age, time is at the forefront. A steady metronome of moments letting us know we’re on the clock. Because ultimately the choice is up to us. Whether you pray to God or Allah or the Universe or Martha Stewart - that higher power has your back as you work toward the highest version of yourself. It's consistently relentless in the pursuit of your purpose, begging the question, what are you going to do about it?
-AW